That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think people are normalizing furries
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
