uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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