party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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