i just google imaged poop.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
