new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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