There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
