Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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