Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
