Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
