they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
