I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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