You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
