3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
why didn't you poke me back
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
