What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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