Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
