That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
