Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
