There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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