it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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