You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize
