You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
