The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
