ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
