is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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