i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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