Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
