Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I need water and some morals
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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