ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
