glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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