i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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