dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
