Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need a beard to bite.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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