All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
