No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
