2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
