You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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