About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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