Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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