If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
