wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
