dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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