he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
