Plan B is the new Plan A
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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