Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
