coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
