we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
