just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
