I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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