So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
