I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
