why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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