the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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